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Nancey
Age: 31
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Anyone with a good sense of humor will appreciate. You can break them out whenever there is a lull limes conversation with your friends or whenever you want to break the ice with someone new.

Just be careful with who you decide to approach at parties. Can you do telekinesis?

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One of my friends told me girls hate oral, do you wanna help me prove him wrong? Are you a drill sergeant?

Because you have my privates standing at attention. Your breasts remind me of Mount Rushmore — my face should be fee. Those clothes would look great in a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor.

And the ones on your face. Have you seen one? Someone vacuum my lap, I think this girl needs a clean place to sit. Are you a pirate? Because I have a lot of semen waiting for you.

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Can I put yours in my mouth? Are dor an archaeologist? Is that a keg in your pants?

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You are so selfish. Let me insert my plug into your socket and we can generate some electricity.

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Do you mix concrete for a living? Are you a farmer? Do you need a stud in your life?

Are you a racehorse? Did you grow up on a chicken farm? Because you sure know how to raise a cock. Roses or daises?

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Hey, you wanna do a 68?

Would you like to try an Australian kiss? It is just like a French kiss, but down.

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Are you a trampoline? Because I want to bounce on you. Why pay for a bra when I would gladly hold your boobs up all day for free?

You should sell hotdogs, because you already know how to make a wiener stand.

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The only reason I would kick you out of bed would be to fuck you on the floor. Your place or mine? Tell you what?

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Do you go to church often? Wanna give it some mouth-to-mouth? Are your legs made of Nutella? Are you a sea lion? Because I can sea you lion in my bed tonight.

I have a big headache.

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I hear the best cure for headaches is sex. What do you say we go upstairs and work out a remedy? I may not be a windshield repairman, but I can still fill your crack in. That dress looks great on you… as a matter of fact, so would I. Do you have pet insurance? How long has it been since your last checkup? Are you my homework?

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Excuse me, I am about to go masturbate and needed a guyz to go with the face. Let me guess your favorite position: If you were an elevator, what button would I have to push to get you to go down? You can be the door then I can slam you all I want.

Oh you are? Esx, it must be an hour fast. Are you related to Dracula? Because you looked a little thirsty when you were looking at me. Sxe may not have gotten your virginity, but can I at least have the box it came in? My doctor told me I have a Vitamin D deficiency.

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Hard to get off, but extremely satisfied once you. They say to spit, but I always prefer swallowing. I think my allergies are acting up. Because every time your around my dick swells up.

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Do you know the difference between my penis and a chicken wing? Add a bed, subtract our clothes, divide your legs, and multiply. Do you know why they call me the cat whisperer?

Because I know exactly what your pussy needs. Are you a sprinkler? Sign up for the Thought Catalog Weekly and get the best stories from the week to your inbox every Friday.

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You may unsubscribe at any time. By subscribing, you agree to the terms of our Privacy Statement. Whether the other person laughs aloud or rolls their eyes, you are guaranteed to get a strong reaction from.

Is your name winter? Do you like to draw?